Joanne.
TWENTY TWO.
LeE
eVa
3upHe
lAys
kUmz
aMaNdA
aSliaNa
hmm..last night i cldnt sleep at all..kept tossing and turning..my joints were killing me..i was wearing socks..kuz my ankle felt as if it was gna fall off..yea..so in the mrning i went doc..rch there abt 12..was like so crowded..onli gt my turn at abt one plus..thn she checked me thouroughly n said i have arthiritis..my heart dropped..wad the hell noe..haiz..everything is just going wrng fer me..
thn went supermarket shopped fer my mum..she gave me her credit card..n sae buy WADEVA i wanted..but i din ah..i dun like to spend her money...yea..such a gd gurl huh..sigh..everytime when i mention money my heart feels so heavy...god..if onli they noe hw much money is a worrying factor fer me now..if only they knew..i cnt get anything fer myself..i havent gotten anything at all..i wana buy a nice funky top...or an adidas bag..or sneakers..or new clothes..or just something..but i cnt..wana change my hp oso cnt..anything fer myself also CANNOT!aaarGH!but i always tell myself tht other pple are mre impt..and they need it mre thn me so i shld be contented with wad i have..yea..its true..=)
after tht i went over to amandas hse..to take back my clothes n study n tok abit..did maths a bit..thn we left at 9..went to eat KFC..i ate zinger, she ate banditto..thn wanted to go eat pizza..but i ditched her..haha..had to go mt a fren..yea..but b4 tht we bot choco waffle..so YUMMY!kuz she onli took 20 cents frm me..i tld her ill onli eat 20 cents worth..haha..but in da end no la..haha..yea..so i lft abt ten plus..was like eating at the train station..thn i purposely flashed my waffle in frnt of the camera..haha..the announcement aired saying..PLS DO NOT EAT ON THE TRAIN...hahaha..damn funny..
sigh..i still duno wad to do..everyone keeps telling me i shldnt msg him..lc..but i just wana noe hws he..kuz i wana noe if hes suffering as much as i am..if hes not..thn it kinda shows..if he realli likes me or not..is tht being selfish??but..if thts being selfish..thn wads cheating on another gurl?no one noes the pain im goin thru now..its like..im all alone..inside..i noe i shldnt think of him kuz im only makin myself feel worst n mre depressed..but how can i not when the wounds still fresh..they all sae give it some time..but time is passing by slower wheneva i tink of him..doesnt ANYBODY understand tht?i feel mre n mre lethargic each night..but why am i doing this to myself when he has done so much to me to?so shld i just walk away now?n leave everything behind..?
yea..